Read this heartwarming, sexy, sweet little personal essay written by our very own magical intern (Intern Courtney) for Autostraddle! It’s about her experiences with our Femme Sex Coven (also featured in Episode 9 of our podcast, Sex on the Brain with Amory Jane)!
This made me cry happy tears. So much love for my intern and friend, Courtney, for my community, and for all of the witchy wonderful femmes out there! <3
I am excited to announce that I now have an intern! Communicating on the road has been a bit hit or miss even though I have Verizon MiFi. I’ve been going through many mountainous regions and deserts that don’t have 4G, so I decided that I needed a little help. Enter Courtney Kist – Intern Extraordinaire.
Intern Courtney will be proofreading and tagging my posts, contacting guests for the podcast, helping edit episodes, organizing spreadsheets and business documents, and occasionally writing on this here blog. She is also a great cheerleader via text when the road gets rough, and I hope that when I get back to Portland, she’ll bring me donuts. (She will definitely be bringing donuts ~ Intern Courtney)
I met Courtney at She Bop after I returned from my first national teaching tour in April. She had been hired while I was out of town and I had heard rumors from the other employees that we would probably hit it off since we had many of the same interests, like singing and sex (then again, the entire staff is interested in sex and about half of us sing together regularly, so I was not shocked by the fact that we got along). We have been working together at She Bop two days every week since then, and she has attended a few of my classes and is very up to date on my life and in touch with my goals. So, when she asked if I wanted an intern, I gladly welcomed her to the Amory Jane/Edna the Sex Ed Mobile team knowing that she’d be a great fit.
More on Intern Courtney: she is a jack of all trades with a passion for sex education, theater, cheese and queer politics. When not spending her days working at She Bop, she can be found performing in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, dancing at a queer party, hiking, spending time with her femme sex-positive coven, watching Gilmore Girls, or occasionally writing something personal for the internet. She hopes to eventually translate her experience into providing inclusive sex ed for queer and trans youth, writing about sex and sex toys for the internet, producing media (video, podcast, performances, etc) for educational and entertainment purposes, and doing everything in her power to de-stigmatize the way we talk about sex.
She has my login info now, so perhaps I’ll let her finish this post and I’ll get back to checking in on St. Edna, who has been sick and in the auto repair hospital for the past couple days. We’re currently stuck in Denton, Texas, but Edna is supposed to be fixed up and running like a champ again within the next few hours. That means we are going to have to make one long and hot drive to get to New Orleans on time for me to shower and prep before my ass class tomorrow at Dynamo – but we can do it! By the way, there are still spots left and you may purchase tickets online now for $2 off the door price! Looking forward to teaching again in New Orleans!
Wyoming is a beautiful state and we came across some serious magic there.
On Friday, my two travel companions (Amari and Amber) and I drove from Idaho for over seven hours, through the mountains and high desert then on unpaved roads through the dark without having any real idea where we were going. Eventually we discovered an isolated but perfectly set up campsite with wood for a fire already in a pile nearby. It felt like a gift or a prize that was waiting for us after a very difficult day where Amari lost her wallet, phone, and passport and Edna decided that she wanted to temporarily shut down when she was put in reverse. We needed a victory, and finding an empty, free campground in the middle of Wyoming after a long journey felt like we had won.
Since we were basically in the middle of nowhere, we saw the entire sky, including bright clear constellations and the Milky Way. Seeing our galaxy made us feel itty bitty and filled with wonder. We realized we were truly newborns on the cosmic calendar; so young compared to the age of our universe. We felt insignificant but comforted. We felt introspective and open to possibilities. I even saw two shooting stars! I took that as a sign that we were exactly where we were meant to be and I needed to allow myself to fully embrace my new life plan and let go of the things from my past that were holding me back.
It was a new moon and I had just started bleeding. In fact, all of us were bleeding, even though two of us weren’t expecting that to happen. For whatever reason, that felt important/symbolic. Amber gave Amari a tarot reading that helped Amari find closure and shed her former self. It was so moving and empowering for her that she ended the night by shaving off all of her hair.
While that was happening, I felt called to be alone in Edna. I had my own healing to do. I stared out of the cab window at the vast night sky and felt like I was in a spaceship. It felt good to be alone. I was happy to be with me, in nature, feeling tiny yet connected. I wrapped myself in a blanket and caressed my arms for warmth. My skin was cool, smooth, and sensitive. It felt incredibly nice to be touched, and it dawned on me that I was the one doing the touching. I was doing this thing called “self-soothing” that I have struggled with for the past few years, especially when I was angry with my body over infertility and chronic pain. I continued to hug myself tightly and rub and squeeze my arms. My body felt less sore and uncomfortable than it had in a long time. I sobbed and let the grief and stress come out with it. I rested my hands on my abdomen and sent gentle energy to my uterus, which I had cursed so many times over the past three years. I breathed deeply and slowly and thought warm and compassionate thoughts, and I let my mind fill with happy memories. I imagined my lover’s embrace from afar and pictured his sweet smile, and my heart swelled with love.
Just then, Amari and Amber walked into Edna. They checked in on me and I checked in on them, and we all agreed something magical was happening there in the rolling sage grasslands of Wyoming. I rubbed Amari’s fresh and fuzzy bald head and we all expressed our love and gratitude toward each other. Amber sat down on the cushioned bench in Edna and Amari crawled into the overcab bed with me. We took all of Edna’a curtains down and turned off the lights so we could feel like we were floating through space. With no light pollution we couldn’t even see our hands in front of our faces, and we commented on how it was a darker darkness than we had ever experienced. Then some really special energy kicked in.
We stayed up for a couple hours more, laughing until we had tears streaming down our faces and our stomachs were cramping. We bonded and wrote songs and poured out all of our album ideas into Amari’s handheld recorder. We talked about how we felt like sisters, like a coven, like a little family. Amari pointed out that our coven would be complete if only we had four members, but Amber wisely noted that St. Edna was our fourth. Then we wrote a song about Edna as the fourth Beatle and fell peacefully asleep.
We woke up to a storm, heavy rain pouring down around us, and the sound of the wind and water beating against Edna’s fiberglass body. We were safe though, and the storm passed just as quickly as it had arrived. The next time we awoke was to a pink and orange sunrise, and we finally got to see the wonderful place around us that we had discovered in the dark.
We walked down to the Teton Reservoir and took a few photos then said our goodbyes. We left Wyoming that afternoon feeling revived, more creative, and closer than ever.