In a few weeks, I’ll be teaching a course at Portland Underground Graduate School with my favorite co-teacher, Gretchen Leigh. It’s called Sex Skills Bootcamp, and it welcomes adults from all backgrounds, experience levels, and relationship structures to explore their erotic curiosities, boost body confidence, deepen relational skills, and unleash their bedroom prowess.
You can see the full class description by clicking here. It’s a 4 week course, which Gretchen and I have never taught before, and we are thrilled to have 8 whole hours in which to pack tons of sex education and live demos! We’ll cover everything from communication and consent to hand skills, oral sex skills, and kink. We even have some very entertaining roleplaying scenarios ready for you.
Friends & fans – use these money saving codes:
WELOVESHEBOP = 10% off the course
YOUVEGOTAFRIEND = 20% off when you sign up with a pal or partner!
I hope to see you there — please let your friends know, too! These will be some of my final workshops before I go on maternity leave. <3
Sex on the Road – Best friends,Amory Jane and Amari Indigo, record from their hotel room at the Central Ohio Perversion Excursion. They talk about what it’s like to be a demo bottom/stunt cock (for a fellatio class), demisexuality, being “delicate fucking flowers,” different relationship labels and styles, unicorn hunting, libido, the frustrations and conveniences of modern dating, and the importance of human touch.
I have been on the road with my sex ed van, Blanche, for 27 days now. I also just passed over 5,000 miles driven on this road trip so far!
A lot has happened since my last post, some of which has been documented on my Patreon (includes photos). For folks who want more updates and behind-the-scenes content from my adventures on the road as a sex edu-tainer, I have also been making little videos to share on Patreon and I published a secret patron only podcast episode with my best friend Amari Indigo.
Here are some of the major highlights/summaries from my trip to catch you up to date:
I have driven through 14 states (although, honestly, it feels like more): Oregon, Idaho, Utah, Wyoming, Nebraska, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Maryland, and West Virginia, Missouri, and Kansas
I taught at the Central Ohio Perversion Excursion
I was reunited with my darling Amari Indigo for a few days in the Midwest and we caught up, created, and had a bunch of fun together
We were joined by my friend Eric in Ohio and all went to Cedar Point for a day of riding roller coasters
I visited Pittsburgh for the first time and loved it
I got to see everyone in my family and even got a tattoo with my older sister
I have many stories to tell and paragraphs to write about my adventures, especially at SGCC, but right now it’s time to get out on the road again. Today I’ll finally be getting back into the land of mountains and cannabis (hooray!) with a visit to Denver.
My birthday was this week, and what I wanted for my birthday was for my sex-positive variety show + afterparty to go well. That meant a night the audience would enjoy and remember and, for me, high enough ticket sales so I could finally fix my sex ed mobile and get back out on the road to teach sex workshops and attend conferences.
The show was incredible (seriously, the performers were amazing) and I kicked ass at my standup comedy debut, but we fell short of our ticket sale goals. We had a Sunday night show the night after the World Naked Bike Ride, there were record high heats, and it was just Pride Weekend – not easy to compete with those things. So, while I am proud of the show and everything it brought to the community, the joy of the event unfortunately didn’t last long for me because of the impact it had on my bank account. It was a major bummer, especially since I was hoping to earn some of the $700 I need for van repairs before I can leave town.
This is going to start sounding like a sob story, if it hasn’t already, but hang with me (it gets more positive eventually).
On my actual birthday, I had one of my worst days in recent memory. It started with me being admitted to the hospital with a very painful autoimmune flare-up, and continued to get comically worse, until it ended with both of my dogs puking all over the house. When it rains it pours, and this time it poured vomit.
I was pretty ready to give up. It felt like rock bottom to me after one of the worst years of my life, in which I got divorced, sold my possessions and moved into an RV to travel the country only to have the RV break down on me, was crashed into by a hit and run driver that left me with medical bills and worsened my chronic pain condition, dealt with multiple mental health crises, and had my heart broken (again).
Pushing myself forward in a career where I was always supposed to be “on” – sexy and funny and charming and self-promoting, didn’t seem feasible any longer. I told myself that as much as I love the work I do, and as important as sex and consent education and patriarchy-smashing is to the world, it was time to either become an off the grid hermit or get a “normal person job” that paid the bills more consistently. Not making enough money each month has meant chronic stress, which certainly doesn’t help pain or mental illness or healing from grief. But when I told my best friends about my fears and plans, they all told me I was full of shit. I mean, they did it in the nicest way possible, but they still refused to believe “hermit” or a 9-5 job were my only options. They begged me to never be normal, and encouraged me to try a few more things before I gave up on my dreams. Most of them agreed I should set up a Patreon, so that’s what I did.
The life of a sex educator can be exciting and hot and rewarding and ridiculous, but it can also be challenging, exhausting, and like I’m always fighting “Imposter Syndrome.” Plus, it can be really financially unpredictable, like when colleges wait two months to send a check for a safer sex workshop, or frustrating when everyone asks for sex and relationship advice and expects it for free.
However, I love my job and am very passionate about my chosen career. I’m good at it, and people tell me frequently how much it means to them that I do this work. So, I really want to be able to keep teaching, writing, interviewing, and podcasting about sex, relationships, love, and intersectional feminism. I also want to start embracing my creativity and getting more in touch with the comedian/writer/storyteller I’ve always been. I know creating and performing, and vulnerably sharing those parts of myself, will help me heal. And I hear that’s something the world needs – more healed people to help heal others.
Whenever things get to the point where I feel hopeless and helpless, I admit, I wallow in it for a day or two (#Cancer). Then I try really hard to get out of my mopey crab shell and rise from the ashes like a glorious Phoenix of Sex Wizardy (because apparently mixing a bunch of half-assed metaphors and witchy imagery is how I get inspired). That’s what this Patreon is for me – an attempt at an self-inspiring rebirth – or at least a healing new chapter.
So, please, won’t you allow yourselves to be inspired too? Join my Patreon, get exclusive access to my intimate stories/projects/comedy/podcasts/ridiculous life + sex ed videos and advice, and feel good because you are making a huge difference in the life of an educator (who can then make a difference in the lives of others).
Episode 14: Flirting – Sex on the Brain brings back two former guests to talk about flirting and modern dating. Ev’Yan Whitney of the Sexually Liberated Woman podcast and Intimacy Educator and Sex Coach Stella Harris join Amory Jane in discussing different flirting styles, pick up lines and so-called “pick up artists,” and how flirting has changed with online dating. They also share their experiences with dating non-monogamously, and offer plenty of flirting advice to listeners and each other.
Episode 13: Pegging On the thirteenth episode of Sex on the Brain, Amory Jane talks to sex educators, Reid Mihalko and Allison Moon! They dive deep into #buttstuff with a special focus on pegging, and share a lot of funny and intimate stories about their own anal experiences. This episode is extra humorous and as educational as a full pegging workshop! Highly recommended for anyone who wants to learn more about ass play, dildos, harnesses, and why the hell both Allison Moon and Amory Jane are into roleplaying as frat boys.
It is not yet a 100% done deal, but it is looking like I am going to be trading St. Edna the Sex Ed Mobile for a van. After getting multiple consultations, I’ve learned that a new engine for Edna would be $1200-1600, and I just don’t have that kind of money. As much as I don’t want to part with my baby RV, she’ll have a better life if she goes to a mechanic who knows how to get her running again and keep taking care of her. Besides, a van could be both my every day vehicle and a decent road trip mobile for when I go back out on tour (which I am hoping will happen in July).
I’m having lots of feelings about this, because getting Edna was a huge important chapter of my life and gave me freedom when I needed it most. Plus, the night she broke down was a night that has a lot of memories attached to it and marked the beginning of another chapter for me. So, saying goodbye to Edna feels more loaded than any other auto trade or sale I’ve ever done. Maybe I’m being too sentimental, but this feels like another significant marker in a year that has been filled with heartbreak, change, and learning to let go.
The sweet/good news is that the mechanic who will likely be getting Edna saw the bumper sticker on back and asked about it. So, I told him that I drove the country with Edna to teach sex education. He thought that was great, and he wants her to stay named Edna (which makes me feel a lot better about all of this, as stupid as that may sound). He also wants to leave the bumper sticker on and get a stack for his other cars, and he said it’ll help him talk to his kiddos easier about “the birds and the bees.”
Our next episode, which will be on the topic of pegging and feature Allison Moon and Reid Mihalko, will be coming out later this month. Then, starting in May, we will be moving into our official once per month schedule (with occasional bonus episodes).
Our tiny podcasting team is still very excited to be producing Sex on the Brain, but we needed to give ourselves more time each month to focus on our workshops, teaching tours, music, writing, and live sex-positive events likeWhoopee! A Sex-Positive Variety Show.
We look forward to kicking off our second season this month and to continue bringing you sex-positive entertainment and education!
Amory Jane, Sound Engineer Mat, and Intern Courtney
P.S. We are excited to announce a new sponsor for April’s show as well: Portland’s very own Clone-A-Willy! Want to create a replica of your favorite penis or vulva? Try a Clone-A-Willy or Clone-A-Pussy kit in the comfort of your own home! 100% body safe materials, 100% platinum cure silicone, and 100% fun! Use promo code SEXONTHEBRAIN (all one words, caps don’t matter) for 20% off from April 15th-May 22nd at https://cloneawilly.com
Episode 11: Trans Sex and Sexuality features a very educational interview with Brettley Mason about sex toys, being non-binary, navigating dysphoria, and safer sex for trans folks. Our 11th episode also includes a lively and personal conversation with Aurora and Intern Courtney about porn, sex work, butts, and being pro-slut.
Episode 10: Intergenerational Relationships (& “Cougars”) Our tenth episode is on the topic of intergenerational romantic relationships – or significant age differences between partners – and the unique considerations, benefits, and issues that tend to come up in these relationships. We’ll hear from The Date Maven, Suzanna Mathews, author of Revising Mrs. Robinson – a book that dives into ageism, sexism, and the “cougar taboo.” We’ll also hear from sex and disability educator and advocate Robin Wilson-Beattie about the intersections of age, race, and disability when dating polyamorously.